Is this still a dream?!?

I remember I went to sleep late that night,feeling uneasy && had a very sad dream...

The phone started to ring in the morning,breaking the silence && the premonition became a reality..

Leaving an unfading scar on my heart;You became a star by yourself...

"Goodbye"You have gone to the place where we can never meet again.Still,I can't accept the coldness of this eternal parting...

&& how I wish I could have heard from you that I had been certainly loved by you,only once,even if it had been a lie...

I had thought that this could be endless but now came to an end..Now,the season has changed,I feel bitterly cold,so cold,can't feel anything && now the sky kept on weeping for me this year...

I will never forget that first day that we met..I feel as if I were living in the continuation of the dream.. i can't even cry now..

"Take care"Even my last words won't reach you.I'm made to realize the coldness of this parting thing..but・・I wish I could have heard from you that you never regretted the days we had spent together...Just once i want to hear it,even if it had been a lie,i don't care...All i care is that i really loved you..

but..

the reason i couldn't say "goodbye" properly was that

i got a feeling that i'd see you again or....

Though its true,i spend some nights feeling so sad,like there's a tightening in my chest that leaving me an empty feelings that i cant bear to understand..But if i just think of you,i always end up thinking that my heart has a meaning to live..

I expect nothing special from you..it's just please let me love you this way..

Stay loving you forever..

Haiszxt...

Why did you do it this way?!Leaving me memories to the very end?Please tell me this is only a story of the continuing dream && that I'm not yet awake....